


My Wonder

by 221bshrlocked



Category: MCU, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Adorable Flirting, F/M, Fluffy, slight embarrssment, this is just soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:09:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29381148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221bshrlocked/pseuds/221bshrlocked
Summary: Bucky finds out you “admire” him.As in he finds out that you write fanfiction about him...lots of fanfiction.
Relationships: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Bucky Barnes/Reader, Bucky/reader, James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, bucky x reader - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

It took him a long time to get used to big crowds. And it took him even longer to realize people actually liked him, a smile gracing his features when little kids came up to him and pulled on his metal arm and said it was the coolest thing to see. And when he’d get on his knees and plays around with them, it was the most therapeutic feeling in the world.

But with the kids came the slightly older fans who weren’t shy at all, flirting with him so much he’d actually blush and turn down their offers. And the thing was, he thrived on this attention decades ago, but everything was different now.

It was another lazy day in the tower when Bucky found himself roaming around and helping where he was needed. Going down to the first floor, he sat with the new young security guard that just got hired, telling him there was nothing to be nervous about and to just pretend he’s another normal agent.

Once they got talking, he found his company to be very enjoyable, the conversation switching to what they like to do during their free time. When Bucky saw the young man smiling as he looked at his phone, he asked him what was so funny.

“Oh, so my professor told me to practice my writing as much as I could so I created a blog and I write short stories and I am finally getting more requests.” The young man seemed so happy talking about it and it got Bucky interested.

“That’s cool man, what’dya write about?”

“Just anything and everything. I’ve recently gotten a lot of attention on one of the longer stories about…well, I-”

“Don’t be shy just spit it out. Not like I’ll understand how to check this or anything.”

“Well, I write a lot about…the Avengers and ummm, you see, I- the thing is…there is this type of fanfiction where you read it and you insert yourself so I pretend along with others that we’re part of the Avengers and it’s a big hit.”

“That’s actually really interesting and flattering. You think I could read some of it or not? I’d totally understand if you don’t want me to.” The kid relaxed more and helped Bucky create an account on this site which had a really weird name as Bucky said.

“Hey I’ll be your first follower!” He told Bucky, excitement filling him because here was one of his favorite heroes telling him he was interested in his work.

“Thanks man and I’m sure your writing is great. Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone. I’ll see you later.” Bucky stood up and kept on looking at the app on his smartphone. He was a fast learner, he’d get the hang of it quickly.

And he did.

Within three hours, Bucky was browsing through so many tags, from the interesting ones to the not-so-fun ones. While he found the text posts about WWII interesting, he realized soon enough that he wanted to enjoy his free time rather than be reminded of the shit he went through.

He went back to his friend’s blog and saw that he started “fangirling,” he learned was the term, on a text post about someone following him, with that other blog replying and using the same gibberish language and complimenting him about his own writing. Bucky chuckled at the thought of the kid screaming when this blog followed him and he’s been reading his stories for hours now. The kid’s was pretty good so that other writer must’ve been as good if not better.

Deciding to just move on to this author, he clicked on their masterlist, another term he had to write down to remember, and suddenly ceased to breathe.

The blogger’s entire masterlist was about the Avengers. Actually, no it wasn’t. It was about him. 99% of the stories were written about Bucky.

Bucky couldn’t help but put his phone down for a few seconds to try and see if this was a good idea. But when he saw a recent reply about one of their stories, he became intrigued. It shouldn’t have surprised him how people were so much more open about their sexuality and what they’re into these days but seeing how so many people were turned on by the knife skills and his metal arm made him a little giddy.

“Definitely the confidence boost I needed.” He whispered to himself before delving into the story. And by the time he finished that part and the follow up, he couldn’t help but feel a little odd. This writer was describing him so well, almost as if they were living with him. So busy reading the rest of the stories that weren’t very safe to read in such an open environment, he didn’t notice you walking into the common room with your laptop and coffee.

As soon as you came into the room, you held your breath. Seeing him invested on his phone, you sat down quietly and turned on your laptop, going straight to your account and writing something new that came to mind.

Bucky was in the middle of reading a story about his arms when he got the notification that the blogger posted.

_**A/N: This is just something random. I can’t help it guys sorry ~~not sorry~~. He just always looks so beautiful. Not my usual writing style but I needed to get this out of the way.** _

_**Eyes holding the ocean.  
Smile grasping the universe.  
Heart made of gold.  
Soul of an angel.  
Scent like paradise.  
Moved by hope.  
Untroubled by fear.  
An untouchable mirage amid the desert.  
My wonder of the world.** _

Bucky read the short text and wished she’d written more of it. Without thinking much about it, he messaged the writer.

> _Hey, new follower here. I just wanted to let you know that was incredible. Whoever you’re writing about, I can tell you really appreciate them._

As soon as he clicked send, he looked up. There you were, picking up your phone when the notification sound rang. You didn’t notice Bucky staring at you, too busy replying to the new admirer.

“Aww that’s so sweet.” You said out loud, not caring Bucky would hear you. And when his own phone buzzed, his eyes widened.

> _Aww that’s really sweet._

No, it couldn’t be.

> _Do you mind me asking who you’re writing about?_

Your phone rang again and Bucky knew in an instant this wasn’t a coincidence.

> _I guess since you’re new you probably don’t know. This account is dedicated to the one and only Bucky Barnes. It sounds weird I know._

> _Isn’t he a stranger though?_

> _Well, yes and no. He is a stranger but you’d be surprised how much I see him. But don’t tell anyone please. They might take advantage and start sending me unsolicited shit._

> _Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me._


	2. Chapter 2

The last mission took everything out of you, out of everyone as a matter of fact, and you wanted nothing more than to walk off the quinjet and step into the shower and just sleep for a week. But there was too much adrenaline in your system, and you found yourself washing up quickly before turning on your laptop and going to your favorite website.

You smiled as you read every message sent to you in the last week, replying to each one and thanking them for reading. You checked your notes and giggled when you saw the same blog you’ve spoken to before liking every text post you wrote. That was your favorite part; when you gained a new reader and they went through your story list. It gave you comfort to know that someone set everything aside and binged everything you wrote.

Clicking on the blog, you saw they’ve posted a couple of poems since you’ve spoken to them. It took you reading one of them to click the ‘follow’ button. Whoever this person was, they were killing it with everything they wrote thus far. You tried to make sense of the blog name, belyyvolk74, but brushed it aside instantly because what the hell did that even mean?

_**My Garden of Eden** _

_**A/N: I’m new to this and honestly, I have no idea what I am doing but it seems that this is therapeutic to some people so I’m giving it a shot.** _

_**A lingering beauty smiles,  
** _ _**Like a rose blushing,  
** _ _**Pouring her perfume in my hallowed waters,  
** _ _**So pure and fair,  
** _ _**An angel lost in my dying garden,  
** _ _**She warms the twilight at noon-day,  
** _ _**Forever dwelling in my dreams.** _

You felt so captivated by their way of words and you couldn’t hold back. Turning on the chat, you typed a quick message to them.

_Hey, sorry if this is a bad time but I just wanted to tell you that ‘My Garden of Eden’ was something else. I literally just binged everything you wrote and wow like you are so talented._

Clicking send, you scrolled through their page and saw very few posts besides his own. Bucky was just close to finally catching some sleep when his phone rang. He wanted to break the damn thing but chose otherwise, grabbing it and unlocking it before seeing who it was from. He rose up quickly and rubbed his eyes, reading the message over and over again before smiling to himself.

_Thank you that means a lot coming from a writer like you. It isn’t much but I got inspired._

You read the message and huffed. You smiled because whoever it was, they were being so freaking humble and it was refreshing.

_Well whatever your inspiration is, I hope it doesn’t go anywhere anytime soon._

Bucky snorted at the message because the entire situation was just ironic.

_Don’t worry doll my muse is right here with me._

For a second, you thought something felt odd about his reply but brushed the thought aside, blaming the long week for your imagination.

_Maybe we can share our muses together sometime, right now I need to sleeeeep. It was nice catching up and keep going friendo :)_

_Sweet dreams._

Bucky felt something strange in the pit of his stomach, kicking the covers and walking out of his room when he collided with someone else.

“Oh shit Bucky I didn’t see you.” Bucky supported your back and pulled away before nodding. “That’s okay doll, I didn’t think anyone was awake right now.”

“Yeah I was just checking something real quick. Need to sleep for an entire month after this last week.” You laughed awkwardly at him, trying to think of something else to say. “I won’t hold you up then darlin’, sweet dreams.” He waved goodnight just as you started to walk away.

As you set your stuff down and crawled under your covers, you couldn’t help but think how similar your new friend’s vernacular was to Bucky’s.

“No there’s no way!!” As soon as you put your head on the pillow, sleep took over and just like every night, a certain super soldier visited your dreams. Bucky has just gotten back to his place when he stopped in the middle of his room just to focus on your steady heartbeat. He smiled and walked to his own bed and for the first time in months, he slept through the night without any nightmares.

You woke up the next day more refreshed than you thought, rolling over and grabbing your phone from the charger and lazily scrolling through your feed. And then you saw the numerous asks you’ve gotten overnight, eyes widening when you read one after the other.

_Thanks for reblogging @belyyvolk74 stuff because someone finally took my advice and started writing about Y/N Y/L/N._

_Bruh you better be following @belyyvolk74 cause this dude is on fire!!_

_Oh My GODDD biiich you’re not going to believe this someone is writing about Y/N Y/L/N AND I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED THIS UNTIL NOW!!!!!!!_

_Sweet hell, friend thanks for blessing us with these poems because I would have never seen this blog. You know, they’re actually doing a very good job at describing Y/N Y/L/N and I am so here for it._

Message after another, they were all telling you different things about what this new blog wrote and even though you should be flattered, a part of you felt like they were making fun of you. Why would anyone take the time to write about you when they had the rest of the team? Pretty much everyone else had a special power or actually were useful and here you were doubting yourself again.

You scrolled through the ask box quickly before returning to their page and checking out what was the new thing they wrote.

**_My Slumbering Muse_ **

**_A/N: This is probably a random question but why is no one writing about Y/N Y/L/N? She’s the most fascinating member of the Avengers and no one is giving her any attention? I’m writing this to you little doll._ **

**_I found an angel once,  
_ ** **_Standing high in the sky,  
_ ** **_Her arms crossed over her breasts,  
_ ** **_As she fell with a cry,  
_ ** **_And learnt that she is lonely,  
_ ** **_Her splendid smile,  
_ ** **_Shining in my forsaken heart,  
_ ** **_And she bid me good night,  
_ ** **_Her voice harping at my ears,  
_ ** **_My sleeping beauty needs to be worshipped,  
_ ** ****_My slumbering muse dwells in my heart._

You read it over and over again, trying to remember why the scene sounded so familiar to you. Brushing the thought aside, you went to your messages and typed away.

_Hi, me again! Umm, sorry if this question bothers you but I just wanted to know, why did you start writing about Y/N Y/L/N?_

You threw your phone away and made your way to the bathroom, brushing your teeth and looking at your bed when your phone buzzed. You stared at the phone and decided to not read the message right away, taking your time showering and getting ready to go on your regular run with Steve.

As you exited your room, you looked at your phone and stood still. Was this person being serious?

_Do you not like it? I just thought that since we were talking about inspirations last night, you’d want to know who it was I was writing about. She’s pretty awesome isn’t she?_

_Are you trying to be funny?_

Bucky read your reply, shocked that you didn’t think he was being serious.

_No! I meant every word I said. Not many people see her true personality very often and when she does meet people outside, she’s more open with them than the others._

_Oh and you think know her just by writing this?_

_I’m not sure to be honest. But I just think she’s nicer than the others._

_What do you mean the others?? Have you met any of them? No, then you shouldn’t say stuff like that._

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh at how defensive you became, knowing very well you hated any form of attention and wanting to get on your nerves just a little more.

_Take Barnes for example, why is he always so closed off when people approach him to take a picture._

_Don’t you fucking dare say anything bad about him alright? You don’t know anything. He had to deal with so much shit and he has every right to say no to anyone. I should show some more respect if I were you since he pretty much saves your ass while you’re sleeping._

Bucky expected a comeback but what you wrote made him take a step back. You really did care.

_Listen, you’re right I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disrespect them I just want people to know that Y/N deserves more attention than they think._

_What if she doesn’t want any?_

_Then it would be a shame since I wrote more already. But if it bothers you this much, then I won’t post any of it._

You felt bad for how you were reacting, walking into the kitchen and ignoring everyone as you sat down quietly. Bucky looked up as soon as you came in, his smile dropping when he saw distress rolling off of you.

You didn’t want to be mean but you also didn’t want anyone to write about you. But it wasn’t any of your business how someone ran their blog so you swallowed your pride and texted back.

_NO!! No wait just…I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me but please don’t stop. If it’s as therapeutic for you as it is for me then keep going. Seriously I just had a stressful week and I swear I a not normally this mean._

You shut your phone off and put it in your pocket before grabbing a bottle of water and chugging it down.

Bucky’s eyes studied you as soon as he read your message, a part of him feeling bad because he didn’t need to have you thinking you were a bad person. He doesn’t bother sending you another message, knowing that you probably won’t look at it right now anyway. Instead, he opens his journal and starts writing something that came to mind, glimpsing at you every couple of seconds before diving into his writing again.

You were about to leave with Steve when you stopped and waited until he finished his conversation with Bucky.

“You picked up writing again? That’s cool man I’m glad you got back into it.” Steve patted Bucky on the back before heading to the door. You were already out but wanted to come back to get your bottle when you saw Steve heading your way.

“Yeah I have a new muse now.” Bucky said without thinking too much, head remaining low and missing the way you reacted when you heard what he said.

You didn’t bother showing yourself to him, forgetting the bottle and beginning your run without Steve. And when he caught up and asked if everything was okay, you lied and nodded. “There’s no way he found out though like how?” You said out loud, more to yourself than Steve and when you caught your mistake, you told Steve it was nothing.

“Seriously Y/N is everything okay?”

“Yesss mom it’s just this new show alright it’s the season finale and shit’s going down.”

“Would it kill you to focus on one task at a time?” He spoke with his Captain voice and you laughed at his sudden seriousness.

“I’m multitasking. Besides, you’re going to beat me anyways so…” Steve pushed you before doing what he always does and sprinting past you, making you yell at him before looking around and seeing if anyone saw you swearing.

Bucky was in the same spot when you returned from you run, writing another poem as he bobbed his head to the music blasting in his ears. You avoided talking to him and went straight to your room to shower.

And that’s what you attempted to do for a few days, unsuccessfully if you might add since Bucky found the smallest excuses to strike up a conversation. Nothing else he said made you think he was the one writing about you but the change in his demeanor was what made you sure he was. Even when you went on the next mission, he was there with you at every moment, going out of his way to help you out when you needed him.

You stopped writing but reblogged other people’s thoughts on him. The bad thing was, you shouldn’t have done so because after reblogging a particular post about someone wishing they knew what his metal hand felt like against their skin, he began to get more friendly with his arm, whether tapping your shoulder to catch your attention or pushing on your waist to walk past you elsewhere.

Then again, these could all be coincidences


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey where’s everyone going?” Natasha turned to you on her way out, telling Clint she’ll catch up with him. “There’s this charity thing Steve is making us do. He didn’t tell you?” You stared at her without saying a word. “Aaand you forgot. Don’t worry I’ll cover for you, but you owe me!”

“You’re the best. Thank you!” You hugged her before pushing her towards the elevator. Seeing that all of them were gone, you headed straight to the kitchen to bake some cookies before going to the pool. But as you walked past the living room, you heard someone snoring from the opposite end of the area.

As soon as you saw the metal arm, you didn’t budge because didn’t they all leave? You shook your head because now you can’t make any noise. Lord knows he barely gets any sleep as is and you’d truly be the devil if you woke him up. So you decided to go change and have a quick swim. You were about to turn around when your eyes caught something in his notebook, something you most certainly read before. Leaning down just a bit, your mouth fell wide open at the words.

_My sleeping beauty needs to be worshipped,  
My slumbering muse dwells in my heart._

“Oh. My. God!” Bucky jerked awake when your voice echoed in his ears, losing his equilibrium and falling flat on his ass when you screamed at the sudden movement.

“Shit Bucky I’m so sorry I- crap I don’t know what came over me.” You gave him your hand to help him up, the metal fingers much larger than the palm of your hands and somehow making you feel warm. “Next time we’re on a mission, you just need to scare’em doll…that’ll get them.” Bucky joked to make you feel less horrible, dusting off his pants before grabbing his pen and notebook. When he saw your eyes following the leather material in his hands, he knew you saw.

“I don’t know about now but back in my day, it was rude to snoop around darling.” He winked at you, chuckling when you turned away and pretended to fix your blouse. When you remained silent, he decided to come open with everything.

“Listen, I didn’t wish for you to find out like this but something tells me you’ve known for a while, seeing as you avoided me like the plague for the past month and you didn’t write one single thing after our conversation.” Bucky picked up the chair and sat back, crossing his arms and waiting for you to say something.

“I uhmm, well, it was-”

“Doll I meant every word I said, it just took me a while to see someone, the someone special that’s always been in front of me. And I wanted to show you just how special you are to everyone, to the team, but mostly to me. I took everything you did for granted, the little hugs or jokes or outings…I never truly thought about what you do until it hit me! You’ve helped me with so much in the time I’ve known you and I’d imagine it would have been harder if you weren’t there with Steve.”

“I’m sorry.”

Of all the things Bucky thought you were going to say, that was not one of them.

“Why sweetheart? You’ve done nothing wrong?”

“I didn’t take your permission to write any of it.” Your eyes remained to the floor, breath hitching when you felt him take hold of your hands and pull you closer to him. And as you stood between his legs, you couldn’t help but look up, finding his cerulean eyes as kind as they could ever be.

“I’m flattered though. And, if it’s your way of dealing with all the shit we go through then, by all means, write more. Just promise me you’ll do so more about me than anyone else.” Bucky’s grip tightened when your lips turned up at his request. “So what do you say?”

“About what?”

“Want to give me a chance to show you just how much I care?” He wiggled your arms, patiently waiting for your confirmation and standing up when you nodded. You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach when his arms wrapped around you in a tight hug, finding it comforting that you fit perfectly.

“And who knows, if this works out, I’ll be waiting for my lap dance in the garage!” Bucky pulled away just in time to see you flush at what he said.

“You…you read that too?” You wished you hadn’t looked at him because his demeanor changed, eyes twinkling when he grinned at you.

“Well of course I did doll, it’s your most famous work I couldn’t pass up.” He licked his lips when he saw how embarrassed you became. Walking out of the living room, you were about to ask him what he wanted to do when he pulled you closer to whisper something in your ears.

“And by the way, the age gap is definitely a turn on.” You whimpered against him involuntarily, Bucky’s laugh ringing throughout the empty hallway because boy did he love teasing you. “You’re not going to let this go are you?” You pinched his arms and walked away, jumping out of reach when he tried to catch you.

“Never, we’re just getting started sweetheart.”


End file.
